Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
