i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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