And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize