is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
