i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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