i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am one with the molecules
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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