Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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