i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
