She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
