I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish i was in the wii world.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
