i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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