Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize