She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
