THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
