yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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