wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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