But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
nutella sex= disaster
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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