i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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