i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think I am morally bankrupt
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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