it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
