HIV tests are more positive than that guy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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