Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
