so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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