Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
