I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I party with great urgency now.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
