If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
