pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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