Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
