We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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