girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
