Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize