i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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