My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.