I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize