i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You pole danced in your parka.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
