Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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