I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
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