I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
