So drunk its hurt
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
