My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I did not marry a roomba.
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