ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
