she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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