i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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