I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
