It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
