moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize