Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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