We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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