would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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