Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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