found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.