Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?

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(214): View more from Texas

New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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(614): View more from Ohio

My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.

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(703): View more from Virginia

You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE

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