Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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  (248): Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore http://tfl.nu/16rg
  Replies (38) Good night (1660) Bad night (2456)
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  (209): View more from California

  is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

  (1-209): View more from California

  yes...dear jesus what did you do?

  (209): View more from California

  bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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  (209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf
  Replies (56) Good night (4971) Bad night (978)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"

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  (517): I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice" http://tfl.nu/f86r
  Replies (39) Good night (1081) Bad night (6331)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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  (410): I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever? http://tfl.nu/67g4
  Replies (75) Good night (21024) Bad night (1235)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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  (516): Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning. http://tfl.nu/lzds
  Replies (15) Good night (822) Bad night (5395)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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  (732): the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine. http://tfl.nu/ewch
  Replies (18) Good night (1877) Bad night (4166)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.

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  (609): That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me. http://tfl.nu/oade
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (3552)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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  (704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1222)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know

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  (+44): Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know http://tfl.nu/1326
  Replies (5) Good night (1560) Bad night (612)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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  (617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (2496) Bad night (772)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

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  (239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7
  Replies (15) Good night (890) Bad night (2481)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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  (515): My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches." http://tfl.nu/3hga
  Replies (7) Good night (2017) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment

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  (802): as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment http://tfl.nu/bym2
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (1342)
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  (408): View more from California

  Your text makes more sense read in reverse.

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  (408): Your text makes more sense read in reverse. http://tfl.nu/i737
  Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.

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  (216): If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate. http://tfl.nu/y2vm
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (91)

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