Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9
  Replies (2) Good night (884) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? http://tfl.nu/4514
  Replies (28) Good night (2616) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek. http://tfl.nu/wo3r
  Replies (18) Good night (3743) Bad night (5024)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out. http://tfl.nu/w208
  Replies (17) Good night (1558) Bad night (9152)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me. http://tfl.nu/7cby
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (2094)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan http://tfl.nu/pxmf
  Replies (15) Good night (2574) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness http://tfl.nu/59mb
  Replies (3) Good night (2457) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks http://tfl.nu/c3q4
  Replies (8) Good night (1134) Bad night (2639)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits... http://tfl.nu/u2u5
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment. http://tfl.nu/ze3a
  Replies (3) Good night (1693) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong http://tfl.nu/3qt9
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..? http://tfl.nu/l259
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours http://tfl.nu/gzq5
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder http://tfl.nu/6csr
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (326)

Randomize