Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
