This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
