She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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