would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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