I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
