I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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