Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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